A Journal of Humor and Verbal Anarchy

 

Neo-Manichees

According to the progressive myth, the Evil One, the source of all that is bad in America, occupies the White House and does battle with the Forces of Good, the pure and well-intentioned angels of Light, who want to restore the world to its original virtue. The duality between the Good America and the Bad America lies at the center of the Neo-Manichee world view.

The Archon of Darkness, patron saint of lethal injections, gained his hold in the universe through a simple miscount. He had his slimy emissaries, dressed like lawyers, perform sort of a shell game while counting the apples in the Garden. That's how the Evil One managed to snatch the Forbidden Fruit - the White House. Thus, Satan/Bush grabbed power and immediately dispatched the Armies of the Night to far corners of the globe to wreak havoc on the environment and steal the precious black liquid that made his monstrous SUV's run. He managed this by rigging the Flood (9/11) which snuffed out 3,000 lives in Manhattan, fooling Americans into thinking that they were under attack

The Progressive saints were not fooled. They knew the scoop, the gnosis, not to be confused with gnocchi which is an Italian dumpling, by listening to Amy Goodman, reading The Nation or logging on to Counter Punch. Like the medieval Manichees, they practiced a kind of asceticism of sorts, going organic. They knew that most of the vegetables and hamburger meat have been irradiated or genetically modified by the Evil One. Shopping at GreenStar was like a return to the garden, a guarantee of fresh produce and tofu salad 7 days a week - 7am - 11pm.

Huddled in their own little enclaves like Fall Creek, the Perfecti continued to practice their religion, disdaining the sordid consumerism of the masses. They picketed against the encroachment of Wal-Mart and 'big box' retailers, rallied against development, and created instead an alternative chrysalis of small boutiques, Earth Shoe dealerships and organic co-ops. The existence of a shop named Ithaca Logos attested to their pursuit of pure knowledge and the teleological Teddy Bear. Even a downtown McDonald's couldn't survive for long in this sober republic of virtue.

Like their 3rd Century AD forerunners, the neo-Manichees of Ithaca developed a syncretistic world view, combining ecology, Buddhism, New Age philosophy and left-over '60s politics. Their downtown had at one time resembled a hayseed Alexandria, swirling with the din of ideas, crystal readers, and consciousness-raising gurus.

These latter-day Bogomils were blinded by their own light to the point that they failed to notice how particles of darkness in the form of strip malls, national franchises, and mass culture had begun to encroach more and more on their little Arcadia. More and more Ithaca had now begun to resemble a suburb of Kansas City, the consumer necropolis of the Middle Kingdom.

The Final Days are playing out as Ezra speaks . Ignorant armies are clashing in the night outside of Baghdad the fabled Babylon. The center can no longer hold. That rough beast is slouching towards Bethlehem, already occupied by that corpulent, blood-thirsty cousin of Satan, Sharon, hierarch of the Bad Israel (as opposed to the Good Israel.) The bad America is joining up with the bad Israel. "B" rhymes with "T" and that spells Trouble. There's trouble in I-Town too.

The war in Iraq forces Neo-Manichees to defend their dualistic view of America in the face of growing evidence that there may be only one U S of A. And that, children, is Bush's America.

Hey, did we ignore the writing on the wall? "Bush is a Nazi."

Did we not see the right turn America was taking with Bill Clinton and his new Democrats? The spectrum of political thought narrowing as the media created the Archetype of the one-dimensional Man? '60's idealism reduced to the imago of the Cool?

There is no longer an ideal America, I-town. This is the final break, the Spring Break of history, if you follow that. The consent of the governed is no longer required. You are no longer asked to participate, except in uniform, with your little doggy tags around your neck, your gas mask on your belt, clutching your M-16 as they launch you from Kuwait.

For now on, you'll receive instructions on everything you need to know from USA Today and Fox News.

There isn't too much you can do about it either. Drafting Joan Baez to run for mayor of Ithaca won't help. The Common Council can draft resolution after resolution. It ain't stopping Bush. The Ithaca Times can print 100,000 anti-war letters. It ain't stopping Bush. Putting out lawn signs won't help. It ain't stopping Bush, Marching in the streets will make you feel good. But it ain't stopping Bush. You can vote for Michael Moore, John Edwards or Joe Lieberman in 2004. It ain't stopping what Bush stands for. Hey, he may be a one term prez like his dad, but the Evil One has as many manifestations as Dannon's Yogurt has flavors. (So even if you eat the yogurt with the anti-war label, chances are they won't carry it at Wegman's.)

Lordie knows what you can do to stop Bush. Ezra ain't no guru now. He does know one thing. Pretending that the killing isn't going on in your name isn't one of them. Iraqis huddled in shell craters, clutching a few possessions as they flee the Bradley Vehicles, or watching their children's blood run out into the sand, will not take any comfort from the fact that you vocalize your opposition to the war. Maybe you will but they won't.

It's time to put your heresies (hegemonies) to bed. We're all sinners. Face it. No matter where you shop, what you eat, whether you ride a bike or drive a SUV, if you practice the Green Party 10 Key Values or follow the Boy Scout code. You're a sinner. St. Augustine says it's so and he must know because he lived in Hippo.

Ezra thinks that the only salvation is realizing deep in your heart of hearts that there is no salvation. Maybe he needs to be on some kind of medication or another. Then he'd be able to say, despite the Ithaca rain, the horrors in the Middle East and the fact that he has to wake up (at least, he'll wake up today, hopefully) and go off to work.

Have a nice day.
Comments invited at: ezrakidder@gmail.com - Peace, Ezra at 4:03 AM