The good news is that folks will be taking more day trips this year. This really isn't the year to visit Europe. And definitely not the year to visit the Middle East.
So, instead of visiting the Pyramids, consider Buttermilk Falls as an alternative.
Besides people around the world aren't particularly fond of Americans right now. You're likely to hear everywhere you go, Go home, Yankee. Dirty Americanos. Little endearments like that can shake any tourist's confidence. Make you want to pack up your American Express and head back to Intercourse, PA.
Why can't people around the world be as friendly as the folks in Ithaca?
"Gotta a cigarette?" When delivered in a cute upstate New York mumble, that greeting sounds almost foreign. Makes you think you're really getting away.
Ithaca has a lot to offer tourists. Potholes, empty store fronts, gorges, unemployed people with open guitar cases reprising all your old John Sebastian favorites. A week ago Ezra saw a young woman belting out Puccini arias with a tin cup perched next to her.
The Ithaca Commons, tourist mecca. Huge pieces of particle board covering jagged trenches carved into the sidewalk. Convoys of Caterpillar backhoes moving in a precision ballet. Cement mixers lumbering like enormous Tonka trucks past the empty CVS with its huge, inviting display windows. Ithaca even has an empty Jamaican restaurant.
But don't try to park. All the parking lots in town are being torn simultaneously . And it costs as much to park in Ithaca as it does in Manhattan.
People in Ithaca take buses. So the bus company announces a 50% fare hike.
Alternatives. Ithaca is known for alternatives. Ride a yak into town. The cops will only arrest you if you bring your dog on the Commons (and you're not getting him/her a haircut and pedicure.) It's ok if your cocker spaniel needs a buzz cut. Common Council just recently lifted the dog ordinance for the doggie clip joint down from Simeon's.
You can tell Ithaca is getting ready for the tourist season. The city has volunteer gardeners planting poison ivy on the Commons. They even imported killer bees from South America to add a little buzz of excitement downtown.
Welcome to Ithaca, Depression Capital of the Finger Lakes. They fluoridate the city drinking water with Prozac. Stay away for a month and you'll get a chance to shop at another 12 new stores that just opened where the previous 12 went out of business. We're talking exciting boutiques now. You can buy an evening gown made out of duct tape. Pre-owned duds. (In Ithaca, the Salvation Army is the most successful big box retailer.)
Why aren't there signs around, you ask? SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.
'Cause, in Ithaca, it's not an inconvenience. It's normal daily life. Comments invited at: ezrakidder@gmail.com - Peace, Ezra at 4:45 AM
