A Journal of Humor and Verbal Anarchy

 

tootsie pops

Have you ever noticed that Ithaca is home to a lot of real mush heads? Ezra is talking now about people with soft centers; people with minds that produce static cling, who read books written by little guys with the word 'Baba' in their names.

Like the individual who wrote a letter to the editor published in last Saturday's Ithaca Journal.

"I do not agree with President Bush on many things and I used to feel a certain sense of lack of respect toward him but now I changed my mind," our soap on a rope pilgrim writes.

Are you sure that's not fear talking. This guy Bush just whacked how many Iraqis? Anybody would be tempted to change their minds.

"Another reason was that I realized that my thoughts have power," He continues. Have you tried plugging your toothbrush or microwave into them yet? Use an adapter if your head has only a two prong jack.

"and if I and many other 'Peace Loving People' feel righteous and angry at Bush and his administration it really is not helping anyone." Well, it didn't help the Iraqi people either, did it? Especially those who happened to be standing under a 2,000 lb bomb. The PLP should have put PCP's in the Pentagon drinking water instead.

"We need to be united as a people..." You stand in Fall Creek and Ezra will stand over here. We'll communicate via the Psychic Network and send a joint communicat to Washington. That's like the old joke, we went to different schools together.

"and to send our president peaceful and loving thoughts and not angry and resentful ones that will only confuse him more." Is that humanly possible? To be any more confused than George W. Bush? A new vein of subtle humor has unexpectedly been revealed under all that mush. Really, let's face it, George I couldn't even a complete a sentence, Junior is reported to to dyslexic; he had to endure the nickname "Sprout' all those years and then suddenly he was expected to be President of the United States. Wouldn't you be confused?

"It does not mean that we need to agree with him." Does it matter? The UN didn't agree with him either. Ezra's sure Bush lies awake at night and worries whether or not you agree with him. Governing by consensus went out sometime before the Constitution was even written.

"If millions of people send Bush negative thoughts, it will make him more and more confused and we and the whole world will suffer." Ok, try to stay on course. You get so emotional. We won't send him any more negative thoughts. Ok? Who wants to make the whole world suffer? Bush? Certainly not Ezra.

"I believe that on a physical level it is very important to collectively be united on this." Do you actually mean we have to be joined at the hip? That gets problematic when you try to go to the bathroom, doesn't it? What do you mean by 'physical level'?

Allright, you PLP's out there. I want you to get together, channel your thoughts and send George a big hickey. Whenever he goes out in public or tries to make a speech, people all around the world will start giggling. There goes the Love President, they'll all say. Bush will have to hire doubles just like Saddam, when he addresses Congress or visits his little pal, Tony, in London town.

Imagine that. A front man standing in for the front man. It reminds Ezra of one of those Russian easter eggs. But, in the end, they'll just get another rich oil millionaire up to stand in for Bush. Ok, PLP's out there, put your thinking caps on again.
Comments invited at: ezrakidder@gmail.com - Peace, Ezra at 12:53 AM