A Journal of Humor and Verbal Anarchy

 

the curmudgeon's creed

I'd like to believe in God, but am not sure He believes in me,
hasn't called me up in years, is alleged by a lot of otherwise unreliable people to be the creator of heaven and earth but a lot of
scientists think that matter is just a miasmic soup of
random atoms colliding in the dark night before time.
That actually makes a lot of sense if you look at the results; then again, most scientists are unreliable too,
are all waiting around for big grants from corporations
and are known to doctor the facts for a little extra cash.
But I do believe that Carl Sagan
may come back in a space capsule,
that you might see him one day shopping
on the Commons with his dog along with
Marx, John Lennon and Bobbie Kennedy.
It won't be the third day but this is surely hell on earth,
even though it has a lot of gorges.
Whether or not he's come back to judge
the living or the dead depends totally on
whether he can find a parking spot.

I believe that the Almighty Dollar is the
spirit that hovers above everything,
that the corporations rule the earth,
that George Bush will get a second term
and turn the clock back to the 50's
and that they will probably pick places
like Ithaca to build concentration camps
because it resembles Poland, that in a few years
there won't be any clean air or water, a
cup of coffee will cost $10, that the rich will get much richer
and the poor will all be sent to Africa to contract Aids
and watch endless tv reruns with Sally Struthers.

I believe that Martha Stewart is
really the BVM, that she probably had a son
with Richard Nixon, that he's slouching towards
Bethelehem in a humvee to announce the formation of a new, totally streamlined, just for profit,
holy, catholic church,
and we'll have to go into Wal-mart to receive the sacraments.

Furthermore, I believe that the grass is always greener on the other side,
that nothing good can come out of nothing good,
that it does a lot of good to complain, even though no one listens,
or as Ezra Kidder says, I complain, therefore I exist.

Comments invited at: ezrakidder@gmail.com - Peace, Ezra at 6:55 AM