J.K. Rowling, the author of all those bland Harvey Potter novels , has raked in over $400 million so far, peddling a rehash of C.S. Lewis.
Maybe she'd consider buying Ithaca. A town badly in need of a remake. Some twinkle dust. Slip us all a mickey and let us sleep it off.
Somebody bought a town on E-Bay this year. From all reports, it was one of the few places in the USA that ranked below Ithaca as one of the worst places to live. Even Michael Serino in the Ithaca Journal agrees. Ithaca is a wrong turn in a bad dream.
Did you all read that? Hey, the guy writes a column. He must know what he's talking about. Do you see him picking cans and bottles on the Commons? What's wrong with the guy, anyway? Spouting off like that.
J.K would know how to bring back the ole' magic glimmer to I-town's city streets. Anybody who sold 10 million 2 lb tomes to kids who don't even own a credit card yet would know how to fix up this boomless town. Probably be a better mayor than a guy who ran a restaurant. Didya know that Norman Mailer ran for mayor of New York? Twice?
Now, a lot of people question the literary merit of the Harvey Potter novels. Not the people standing behind the cash register. Not the parents who have bought the lie that Harvey Porter will lead to Victor Hugo; that a frightfully bad novel that weighs 2 lbs and costs $27.95 will open little minds to the joys of reading. Hey, Mein Kampf may have turned a lot of little German minds on to the joys of reading too, but beyond that?
Robert Graves once wrote, "There's not mucb money in poetry nor is their much poetry in money." Actually, that quote is from a speech Graves delivered in 1963. He certainly didn't deliver the commencement speech at Cornell. If you follow Graves' logic, you'd probably guess that J.K won't be trying her hand at poetry any time soon. Another 7 or 8 more Harry Porter novels to tide the little creeps over until they make it to college. One a year. Certainly not poetry.
Why doesn't she just buy a college? Then she can change over the curriculum and write textbooks. Harvey Porter and the Principles of Advanced Calculus. Harvey Porter and the Lessons of History. Harvey Porter and Plant Science. Harvey Porter and Cat Neuroanatomy.
Why doesn't she just buy Cornell and throw the city of Ithaca in for good luck.Change the name to Warthog University. Hey, would enrollments go up or what? We're talking pure gold now. Instead of yellow bricks on the Commons, we'd have real gold bricks. A Harvey Porter theme park. Everybody would paint their faces and dress up every day. Wear wizard caps. Nobody would have to pick cans or bottles anymore. We could just sell used Harvey Potter books. Comments invited at: ezrakidder@gmail.com - Peace, Ezra at 9:58 PM
