How are you and Uncle Zhang? Hope you are well and enjoying the view from the new Swiss chalet you built next to the Great Wall. The photographs I downloaded are great! I particularily enjoyed the one of Cousin Cho on board his new SnoCat!
I sure miss you all. Ithaca sucks and it snows most of the time. Nobody shovels their sidewalks and we slip and slide down Buffalo St. The Americans don't have a good system of slave labor. Nobody is willing to do the dirty jobs over here. The peasants from the countryside would rather collect disposable cans and bottles from trashcans than do any heavy work like digging ditches and removing snow.
Life here really sucks. My fellow students just dream of the weekend when they can party and get drunk. Haha! There is no Party discipline. That's an American style joke. The food here is terrible; the restaurants only serve Americanized Chinese dishes like lo mein and chow mein. How I miss Aunt Liu's civit cat stir fry with bamboo shoots!
Things are going well however. I am downloading useful material all the time from the University's central computer and removing bit and pieces from the Plasma Lab that you will find helpful in building your Proton Retractor. I can't believe it! People at Cornell are really careless about security. They leave stuff lying around all the time! We'll be zillionaires!
Regards to Uncle, Cousin Cho and Auntie Liu. Your faithful cousin,
Zeng Wiu.
Dear Mohammed:
(translated from the Arabic)
Praise be to Allah! Death to the Infidels!
Sorry I could not be with you at Ramadan. The Americans have tightened up airport security and I could not take a chance of being crosschecked in their computers. I will continue sending messages the usual way through Ali.
Ithaca sucks. It is very cold and snows all the time here. Wish I was in the desert now, drilling with the mujhadeen and breaking down my AK47. These decadent American students party all the time, fornicate and consume alcoholic beverages. They are worse than the Saudis!
I don't know why I'm here. Do you? Has somone made a mistake? Have they looked at a map? Would you ask the Leadership again why they sent me to this God forsesaken place in upstate New York?
May the day of the Great Islamic Revolution draw ever closer! Maybe I can get out of Ithaca then. Yours in Allah,
