Ezra's Last Minute Holiday Gift Ideas!
Santa's little elves up at the new Cornell Nano Center have been working overtime to come up with some dandy new stocking stuffers for the holidays.
If you order within the next minutes, you will be guaranteed delivery for Christmas. Don't delay!
Best Bet! SUV Mall Locator
- Attach this handy new navigational device to your SUV's Norstar system and never miss a chance to shop again! The SML tracking device locates the nearest mall, strip plaza or big box store anywhere in the United States, Canada or Guam. Simply activate the tracker and wait as our remote satellite wobbling around somewhere over New Jersey feeds you instant images and directions to retail establishments in your geographical area.
List Price $750.00/ You Pay $19.95
Visit all 2,756 Walmarts over the course of a year and win a free expense paid vacation to Arkansas!
Combo Cell Phone/Vibrator
-Spice up your conversations with our new CPV! Gives new meaning to 'phone sex! ' Our pocket size CPV is a handy way to stay in touch! Your CPV can go anywhere and doesn't rely on batteries. List Price $250/You Pay $9.95
Electric Tooth Brush/ Game Boy
-Have trouble getting Johnny to brush his teeth? As a parent, you know the importance of making everything fun for kids. Now you can promote good oral hygiene the Nano Way! Just slip a game cartridge into your new ETBGB and watch Johnny spend hours in the bathroom, brushing and zapping! Save thousands on dentist bills. List Price $475/You Pay $15.99
Virtual Reality Vacation Goggles
-Too busy with career and making money to pay for your kids' college education? Haven't taken a vacation for years? With the new VRVG, you can go anywhere in the world (restrictions may apply for Iraq, Syria, Palestine and South Yemen) and never leave the comfort of your living room! Take that vacation you've always wanted without the hassle of making reservations, waiting in airport lines, exhanging currency. Never have to worry about drinking the local water or being attacked by terrorists. Simply slip on the VRVG's and presto! you're on the beach in seconds, soaking up the virtual rays and watching the virtual tide roll in! List Price $3,750/You pay $199.50
Order any of these wonderful holiday gifts within minutes by going to the link for Ithacasucks.com. Have your credit card ready!
Nanotechnology brings small things to life.
Comments invited at: ezrakidder@gmail.com - Peace, Ezra at 6:10 AM
