death walkThe message is out.
If you have a death wish, visit Ithaca. If you're dead, you may already be there.
It's official. The city of Ithaca has declared open season on pedestrians. No fooling. Check out the headlines. Anybody with a SUV can hit and drag a pedestrian 50 feet to their death and simply drive away. Sure, you might end up with a ticket and a little damage to your car. But the next model year is out already so you can just hop down to Bill Cooke and pick up a brand new 2006 GM Tsunami. It weighs 42,000 lbs, has steel plated side panels, bullet proof glass, 8 ft high tires, a nice Ben Hur setup on the grill which allows you to spear your victim like a kebob. You can run over a small elephant without noticing much more than a slight vibation in the sound proof cab. Now you're heind the wheel and you can head over to Home Depot for the red light special. That what's this guy from Bersksire did after running over a 120 human being on Albany St. The da handed him a traffic violation. It was in the papers Friday, don't take Ezra's word for it.
Forget the art walk. Take a stroll down death alley. Cross the street when the light is green.
This could catch on. This has tbe potential to be bigger than the crow hunt in Auburn. Hunters invited in by the city blasted away, bagging nearly a 1,000 birds,
sending a strong signal to those little black suckers. This could bring folks in from as far away as LA. People are going to be taking the Ithaca ramp of the LA freeway. Cascadilla Creek is going to be running red.
In Ireland it is customary to mark the site of traffic fatalities with a little cross. At this rate Ithaca is going to resemble a big cemetery. .
Deadman walking. That's another term for pedestrian in Ithaca, New York. Stop to check out the metal horse on the Commons and get pancaked by someone driving some shiny monster that resembles a 21st century metal stage coach.
It's not funny. The only thing that's funny is how we all sit down and take what
gets heaped on our plate. The whole county is up in arms because a couple of demonstrators splatter blood on an American flag at the Triphammer recruiting station. The IPD and the DA give some guy a mere ticket for spilling the blood of our citizens and who says anything? Spilling innocent blood in Iraq is called patriotism.
Of all the sucky things Ez has seen in Ithaca, this takes the cake. Maybe you already had a suspicion something like this was going to happen. A huge parking garage going up between the library and the police station - a big new hotel. All these out of towners pouring into town. With their Jeep Crushers, GM Turbo Tanks, their Chevy Slayers, Nissan Threshers, Cadillac Doom Machines. You know, if you want to drive in from Jersey to visit Sean or Neil or Rachel on Parent's Weekend, you can probably kill a couple of pedestrians and still make the sale at the Bon Ton.
Comments invited at: ezrakidder@gmail.com - Peace, Ezra at 3:24 PM
