The Official Ithacasucks Ex-offenders Registry
Name: Al Cohen
Occupation: Ex-Small Town Mayor, Restaurant Owner
Address:Unknown, probably staying expense-free with wealthy land developers
Offense(s)Selling Ithaca, New York out,opening the flood-gates of development, aiding and abetting in the proliferation of big box stores, being a slippery politican.
Note:This offender is to be considered extremely dangerous, armed with an incredibly facile tongue, well-honed political skills, a disarming charm irresistible to voters, women and developers.
Attention: Do not approach or attempt to apprehend unless you are prepared to be sucked into a large scale development project on the Ithaca waterfront.
Mr. Cohen is known to be involved in the eminent domain seizure of prime real estate, the construction of an 11 story hotel/office building, both inappropriately scaled and aesthetically repulsive, in the heart of downtown Ithaca. He is reputed to have been involved in making deals with developers, giving away chunks of Ithaca at fire sale tax rates, destroying the downtown shopping district by inviting multiudinous big box retailers to build megastores on Rt 13 that compete unfairly with high priced local boutiques. Mr. Cohen's over-generous tax abatements to giant retailers has caused congestion, increasing incidents of road rage, pollution, and a President's Day feeding frenzy among consumers on said Rt 13.
Mr. Cohen is reported to hang out at the Boatyard Grill on the Waterfront, Simeon's on the Commons and other watering holes around Ithaca where he is provided with free drinks, meals and accomodations. Since leaving political office, he has been known to contribute editorials to the Ithaca Journal, encouraging more development madness,the distribution of tax abatements to wealthy corporations, and the despoilation of Ithaca's natural resources.
Before and after images
KNOWN ASSOCIATES: (SEE IMAGES BELOW)
disclaimer: The above is intended simply as a parody and does not claim to be a factual representation of Mr. Cohen's activities in or out of office. The editorial board of Ithacasucks, Ithaca's premier, cutting edge humor blogspot, made up of one weird crackpot named Ezra Kidder, disavows any connection with the Republican or Green party, both of whom he regards with extreme ridicule. No money was taken for this ridiculous and futile waste of a Sunday morning. No small furry mammals were hurt during the writing of this blog. Anyway, if you eat at McDonald's, why would you care?
Comments invited at: ezrakidder@gmail.com - Peace, Ezra at 6:05 AM
