A Journal of Humor and Verbal Anarchy

 

holy sundae

A high energy pr campaign has been waged in tiny Ithaca, New York now for the last month to capitalize on the to-the-death rivalry between Twin Rivers and Ithaca to claim credit for serving the first ice cream sundae. The goal has been to finagle a tv spot on CBS.

Emails have been furiously zinging back and forth -- none of which Ez has even bothered to read imasmuch as: 1) he knows the truth, 2)it doesn't matter who invented the ice cream sundae, and 3) who gives a fuck if Ithaca gets a little more undeserved pr?

That's a huge responsibility for one person but Ez is up to the task.

First, the truth of the matter is that an Ithacan didn't come up with the ice cream sundae, but, to our credit, an Ithaca man was the first to produce internet porn.

Second, being first to serve an ice cream sundae didn't produce any widespread benefit for mankind. This kind of frivolous publicity hoopla only underscores the fact that Ithaca has never produced anything that served the greater good. If Ithaca had, for instance, been the venue for say, a medical milestone like the discovery of a cancer vaccine, the city would have no need to tout its clout in the dairy industry.

Third, how many viewers who turn to CBS really care who came up with the ice cream sundae? They tune in CBS for autopsy shows. No one really cares. Another meaningless tidbit of trivia to be filed away in the 30 second cortical flush zone (like a turd chunk that doesn't get washed away the first time around but disappears with the next flush.) Do you really think that, with the war in Iraq, the war on terror, rising energy prices, midterm elections, a stalled economy, etc, people really have time for useless trivia. Give us a break. Who invented the styrofoam cup? Who invented the first hemerrhoid preparation?

Let's face it. We're not talking here about an old fashioned example of civic pride.George Washington slept here. Bill Clinton used our restroom. We're talking about a cold calculating scheme to boost the bottom line of Purity Ice Cream, the tourist trade, the restaurant business, the flea market enterprise zone, etc around Ithaca, NY

And, quite frankly, if you are considering a visit to Ithaca, be advised to stay away. You might save a costly repair job on your front axle. The potholes are deadly.
Comments invited at: ezrakidder@gmail.com - Peace, Ezra at 7:54 AM