A Journal of Humor and Verbal Anarchy

 

the hen yard

One of the rare treats in our little pocket of rural poverty is to check out the traffic on the Human Service Coalition listserv.

The Human service mafia in Ithaca, as you might imagine, is dominated by the MWCPW or the Middle Aged White College Educated Professional Woman, occasionally lesbian, but more often not a woman who has been unahppily married to an alpha male with a job at Cornell. Alpha males often stray from the nest so, not only does the MWCPW have to worry about her maintaining her place in the human service pecking order, but also about which cute graduate student the rooster is currently doing. The listserv operates like a virtual hen yard where MWCPW can hang out, cluck, broadcast their wares, defend their turf, or just stay in touch with what other MWCPW's are doing at other agencies.

Here's a typical variant on the listserv message board:

"The Sciencenter’s 4th Annual free community event, Spooky Science, will be held this Friday from 6 to 8 p.m. Come in costume and experience science at its playful spookiest:

* Explore “tricked-out” exhibits
* Watch a hair-raising static electricity demonstration
* Touch live “lightning” inside a plasma ball
* Examine creepy clawed feet (every half hour from 6-7:30 p.m.)
* Dig into a glowing mystery substance to find small spooky surprises
* Create and take home a spine-chilling shrunken ”head”
* Make creepy crafts
* Watch cool chemistry performances by the Ithaca College Chemistry Club (6:15 and 7:15 p.m.)
* A big jack-o-lantern will take center stage in the Sciencenter’s outdoor Emerson Science Park for a messy but fun finale

Spooky Science will be held at the Sciencenter, located at 601 First Street in Ithaca. Additional parking will be available at P&C Foods.

Spooky Science is possible with the support of an anonymous donor, as well as by gifts made to the Sciencenter Annual Fund." (Why not towards cancer research or stopping global warming. Spooky science, that's what Bush believes in. Maybe Laura Bush put up the money???)

The Sciencenter is running a halloween event, cool! But why????? Does that mean that some other agency is running the science events? Looks innocent enough? Dudes and dudettes, it's some middle aged professional woman's idea of hegenomic control. She's already got her Thanksgiving, Ground Hog Day, Christmas, Easter agendas mapped out. The science of Thanksgiving, wow.

But that's typical. MWCPW's gobble up whatever they see. It's a huge turf war for resources, publicity, the best staff, calendar space, domination. The more people need, the more power flows to the mafia. Sara Pine has her little food pantyr empire behind Wegmann's, the Red Cross controls homelessness, Suicide Prevention makes sure that no one drops out of the client base without approval, TCAction makes sure people stay poor so MWCPW's keep their jobs, right down the line.

Oops, here's incoming mail:

"SAVE THE DATE!! (Not save the duck, whale, flea or pear.)

Tompkins County Prevention Point Syringe Exchange Program is having a open house. We would like to invite community members to come and check out the program.

This is an opportunity for the community to learn more about the syringe exchange program and harm reduction, and answer any questions you have about the program.

Please stop by on Wednesday, November 15, 2006 from 4:00 to 6:00 p.m.

We are located at 501 S. Meadow St. (across from Wegmans in the Lama Real Estate Plaza and Thai Cuisine). The Syringe Exchange Program is located in the back of the Southern Tier AIDS Program office. Please use the back entrance off of South Titus St. (Why not the front entrance? )

*Light Refreshment will be served. (Coke?)

Please refer any questions to Meredith Zaslowe, Harm Reduction Educator, 272-4098 or mzaslowe@stapinc.org.

We look forward to seeing you there.

Thank you,
Tompkins County Prevention Point Staf" (Not Ez's spelling.)

Holy shit, man, they've taken over the drug trade!

Ez heard the other day that the number of nonproft startups in Tompkins County is far and away outstripping for-profit startups. Now you thought the restaurant business was saturatyed. Check out the emergency food racket. If you wanted some generic powdered USDA milk, like ain't that everybody's choice for a late night redeye, you have your choice of the Starvation Army, the Food Pantry, the soup kitchen, the Red Cross, the Food Closet, the Food Shed, the Food Basket, the Cracker Van, the Food Bug, the Food Drop Off, the Southern Tier White Bread and Milk Handout Gang, Food not
Termites, Food not Taxes, and don't forget the fact that you can walk into any grocery store and just steal food. The staff behind the registers are generally too malnourished to know what's happening around them! The working poor, hell, they don't count. They can fend for themselves.
Comments invited at: ezrakidder@gmail.com - Peace, Ezra at 1:17 PM