harvey potter and the evil wizards of cornell
That's right, fans. Ez has the scoop. Right here on Ithaca Sucks. He knows the plot outline for the next and final installment in J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter novels. Whippee whazoo! or something comparably necromantic.
Yep. How does Ezra know? Ez has people. Listeners. Watchers. Night people. Third floor people. People who cater publishing parties. People who clean up after literary people, brush the crumbs off their porcelain snack plates, wipe down their toilet basins. Ez knows someone who actually scrubbed Archie Ammons toilet bowl. People in the know . Incidentally, Archie was no j.K. Rowling but Cornell is still proud of him. We're proud of all our literary sendoffs. Ithaca actually has a tourist map for lit groupies. Yeah. Thomas Pynchon got a parking ticket here. Nabokov bought a can of peas there. You could say we're a proud community.
So we should be very very proud that the last Harry Potter novel takes place in Ithaca, New York. Yes, it does. Ez has it on reliable sources. A set of coffee stained, cat littered galleys sits next to him on the writing table. J.K. Rowling has a significant number of cats. Cats who like tuna and egg. In particular, one cat, at least, with diahorrea.
Are you ready for the plot? Are you chomping at the bit for Ez to give away the plot line of the last Harry Potter novel?
Well, fat chance, bisquick. It's pay to play around here. Nothing is free. Not even in Ithaca. Particularily in Ithaca. Knowledge is an industry here. It costs big bucks to get enlightened.
Send Ez a certified check first. Yep. Make it out to Ezra Kidder, Esq. Drop in the letter box. That's how they say in bloody England. J.K. Rowling is a Brit, right? Her fantasy world is full of castles and keeps, wizards and magicians. (At least, Ez guesses as much because Ez, to tell you the truth, has never read a Harry Potter novel.) But he did read that J.K. had her last release party in a castle in Scotland. The whole fucking bloody castle. JK is a billionaire.
Ok. Ez will toss out a bone. He doesn't want you to empty your bowels in your Dockers. So, here's your tidbit of story line. Harry, the young hero, changes his name to Harvey. He enrolls at Cornell to study plant psychology. And that's when he gets into a real thicket of trouble. You see, the evil wizards.........................................
Comments invited at: ezrakidder@gmail.com - Peace, Ezra at 9:57 AM
