A Journal of Humor and Verbal Anarchy

 
Greetings from the land of Disconnect

The person who came up with the bumper sticker, Ithaca 10 sq miles surrounded by reality, had it right. And wrong.

At different times Ez has chalked this sense of permanent disconnect up to the drinking water. Or some substance in the drinking water like Aldous Huxley's Soma in Brave New World, "All the advantages of Christianity and alcohol; none of their defects." ...

When you start adding up the list of contradictions that abound, well, it doesn't add up. Yo, man! Wassup! Like you arrive in Ithaca, having been lured by rumors of incredible natural beauty, a lost world populated by far out hippies and progressive minded activists and dreamers-- and you realize there are no jobs. Home to a world class university but no economy. All these BA's, MA's, PhD's schlepping around, hanging out at the library to use the free internet, eating at the soup kitchen, hoping that a help wanted sign will miraculously appear in the window of a downtown bookstore. Rush down there and 5 Sinologists, 14 social anthropologists and 26 computer graphics majors have already applied, including someone who ran a chain of bookstores in Milwaukee.

"It don't pay squat but at least it's respectable."

Talking about our favorite seat of higher learning, happy b'day, Ezra C, our Ez's namesake. We know you're cooling your heels in some ice cube up on the hill, waiting for your second coming or is that second helping of dessert. Hope they got a surge protector, baby! (Maybe, when the lights go out, Ezra talks to Ruloff's brain. )

So Mr. C starts an 'institution where any person can find instruction in any study..' Right, hope you have at least $40G saved in your penny jar for the first year. It costs $30 a month just to take a book out at the college library. So much for Ez's dream of studying to be a dystopiologist.

Wearing out your last good pair of interview Birkenstocks, traipsing between the soup kitchen and the employment office, you notice folks tabling on the Commons for a Worker's Rights Center. Woa, man, there have to be jobs in this town! Can't have workers' rights without workers, right? Then you realize that no one is picketing outside Starbuck's. Yeah, like all over the country, --well, all over the progressive parts of the country, that is -- the Wobblies are picketing Starbucks. In Ithaca, not only are baristas not recognized as part of the international proletariat, but folks tolerate the Matte Factor with their unpaid baristas

"we grind and pour for Yahweh"

competing against other coffee shops who do pay their workers.

In your travels around our little workers' paradise, you might have also noticed that 10,000 Villages, the local fair trade store, is looking for volunteers.

While you're searching for work, you'll have plenty of time to read the local newspapers, possibly picking up on the doings at EcoVillage, the gated community for the well heeled environmentally-minded. Condos start at what, $125K? Not cheap on a barista's pay scale.

EcoVillage was started with support from Cornell University. That's right, the same Cornell that sent a goon squad in to arrest a bunch of tree huggers at Red Bud Woods, a gorgeous grove of trees that stood in the way of a future parking lot.

And why, speaking of demonstrations, do folks around here scoot back and forth to protest marches against the war in Iraq in gas guzzling SUV's? Can you say 'bicycle?' But, then again, people who ride bikes in Ithaca don't own front lawns where they can post Bush Must Go signs.

Ez can go on and on. Hey, but look, no place on the planet is perfect. Ez sometimes wonders whether Ithaca with its hippies, Mary Jane subculture, its permaculturalists, organic capitalists,protest professionals, and the lot, is not a quintessentially American city. After all, America is the land of disconnect where imperialist wars are fought to spread democracy, a land of boundless opportunity and fair play for giant corporations like Cornell University, this land is made for you and Ez.
Comments invited at: ezrakidder@gmail.com - Peace, Ezra at 3:48 AM