CORNELL SCIENTISTS CLONE VEGAN TURKEY!!!!!
In a series of bizarre experiments that even the most imaginatively far out sci fi writer would have trouble conceiving, Cornell geneticists today announced that they have successfully crossed turkey genes with a new hybrid variety of soy bean.
"It started out as a practical joke. I mean, which scientist in his right mind would have even started down the road of splicing animal and non-animal genes. You'd have to be on serious drugs to even consider an experiment like that. But, we had this new departmental secretary who was a vegan so we joked around about producing a turkey she could eat. And, then the results we were getting started to look more miraculous all the time," Dr. Fleischman van Derk told reporters this morning at the Cornell Gene Lab.
Rita, as the first laboratory produced Galliforme was dubbed, stands two feet tall and resembles a cross between a turkey and a duck but exhibits no other signs of fowl behavior. She doesn't gobble, doesn't get aggressive around other birds or people, nor does she have the characteristic snood protruding from her beak. In fact, Rita does very little except look edible.
Greenstar, Ithaca's natural food grocery, has signed an exclusive marketing agreement, pending USDA approval, with the University to distribute what will no doubt be a milestone product rivalling Spam or the Tofu Pup. The first packaged Soybird, the name chosen for the new mystery meat so to differentiate the feathered un-turkey from Tofurkey , another popular veggie product on the market,will hit the market in time for Thanksgiving 2008. The demand for the Soybird could eventually create a $150 million market as vegetarians and vegans discover the potential for a more credible and tasty alternative to dispatching Tom Turkey.
Comments invited at: ezrakidder@gmail.com - Peace, Ezra at 5:30 AM
