HEY, THANKSSo, the Republicans have finally managed, in a macabre twist, to merge Thanksgiving Day with the anniversary of President Kennedy's assassination. How bizarre is that? You can pig out on turkey and stuffing, then retire to the rec room to watch endless re loops of the Zapruder film and dissect the lone gunman theory.
How about combining Yom Kippur with Christmas? Or, even better, how about teaming Election Day up with April Fool's Day?
Ok, it's only fitting and right on this most American of holidays that we give thanks for all of our blessings. Ain't we all pilgrims on this earth, and haven't we all at one time in our lives felt like those Puritans stepping foot on a brave new world, the absolute unknown, as it were, without a signpost in sight outside of our own inner faith and our desire to make a better world? Ez, in this same vein, remembers the first day he stepped foot in Ithaca, New York.
And, you want to know his exact words at that moment?
"Shit, I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere! This place sucks."
Thank you, Ithaca, for providing Ez with four years' worth of material for a blog that he has felt compelled to write despite the fact that his time and effort would have been better repaid learning Esperanto.
Thank you for all the damage to his car from potholes and salt. Thank you for all the tens of thousands of dollars he didn't earn living here because your economy sucks and Ez didn't have the graduate degree needed to bus tables at Moosewood to supplement his meager income at Satan Industries.
Oh, and thank you, Ithaca, for providing Ez's cats with fours years of newsprint for their litter boxes courtesy of the Ithaca Journal and Ithaca Times.
Thanks for destroying any vestige of confidence that Ez had in the American political system. Only in Ithaca has the political process imploded to the point that, if you thought the two party system was broken, you could have come to Ithaca and discovered that one party rule was even less effective. As anyone in Albania or the former Soviet Union could have told you.
Can you spell Liberal Hegemony?
Thank you, Ithaca, for your snobbishness and snottiness, your ivy league pretensions, we are so much holier up on the hills attitude Cornell U.
Oh, and Ez shouldn't forget to thank Ithaca for exposing the hypocrisy of 'green capitalism.' He's talking about the yuppie quasi-socialism of places like Greenstar, the sheer effrontery of Ten Thousand Villages, friggin' fair trade, Ez's ass. Like who's the dupe?
Well, Ez could go on and on, but you get the point.
Ez didn't want anyone to think he wasn't thankful.
Oh, and thank you for the Comfort Inn.
Comments invited at: ezrakidder@gmail.com - Peace, Ezra at 8:27 AM
