The IS X(Christ)mas Catalog (Because we all have choice!)
It is that time again! Whether you exchange gifts at the Co-op, or need to buy your administrative assistant something tokenish for the holidays, or have a same sex domestic partner that’s hard to shop for, the Ithaca Sucks X(Christ)mas Catalog has a gift got you..
Our buyers have scanned five continents, trading fairly every inch of the way. All of our trading partners pay their workers at least $14.00 an hour which will definitely help their local economy except when they figure out that we’ve paid in Ithaca Hours!!!
Now we know that you would never get caught dead in a Big Box or spotted cruising the mall of shops so you need to get on the stick to make sure your gift arrives before the holiday, that is, whichever form of a holiday you wish to celebrate, whether it’s a combined Christmas/Hanukah, very popular these days, or a Unitarian/Sufi winter solstice, or a Bahai/Muslim/Agnostic day in December or just a plain jane/jim Xmas, skip the ribbons and bows, thank you.
So, without further adieu, here’s our lineup of fab gifts this season.
A lawn sign cozy: Yep, your 2004 election sign has been up over 2 years now and it’s starting to get a little ragged, Every knows you voted against Bush but, perhaps in the spring, new folks will move in next door, so---why not treat yourself or someone close to a lawn sign cozy. Now you can keep your sign warm and dry all winter. Our cozies come in a variety of colors and patterns, and all are sewn by Fair Trade workers in the Rochina favelas of Rio.
Want something non-polluting to get rid of bathroom odors? For only $199.99 you can install an Ithaca Sucks Eco-Smell TwirlyWhirley. You will be the first to have pioneered use of an internal alternative energy source. And, if you’re feeling mighty liberal, hey you can always tilt with it, Ole! Take that, you dirty republican.
Last year one of our most popular gifts was the IS Portable Choir. DON’T preach to the bathroom mirror when you convert the converted. Comes AC/DC.
A favorite of ours and one that is sure to go over with almost anyone on your gift list is the IS Bush is a Nazi wall poster. Hey, unless he and Cheney declare martial law, he will be out of there one day and then who will you have to bitch out? Madame Clinton?
The perfect gift for your special Liberal? Yes, we are talking about the IS Band Aid Quick Fix Dispenser. Your arsenal of cures for almost any ill comes equipped with adhesive strips in every size. Fix racism in the schools, gang violence, potholes, you name it!
Give the ultimate gift this year! Give an insult gift certificate. That's right. Ithaca Sucks has them in 5 popular denominations. For $10, $20, $50, $100 and $150, you can have the person of your choice insulted on the Ithaca Sucks Daily Blog. At the $150 range an entire blog will be devoted to installing a new orifice in that special person care of Ez Kidder, CyberSanta TM.
Get these special gifts while supplies last. Happy Holidays!
Comments invited at: ezrakidder@gmail.com - Peace, Ezra at 7:27 AM
