A Journal of Humor and Verbal Anarchy

 


$$$Star Community News

IS is talking today to Joshua Wamscott, Gourmet Food Buyer at Greenstar Cooperative Market, Ithaca's own upscale emporium of natural food delights.

IS Josh, what surprises do you have for Greenstar's loyal customers this holiday season?

Josh I am so glad you asked that question, Ez. By the way, your food basket is ready on the loading dock. Well, let me say that we are very excited to be the area's only outlet for Kopi Luwak coffee from Sumatra. You might not know this, but what makes this coffee so fab is that the palm civet, a cat-like mammal, consumes - among other fruits - coffee cherries. The civet digests the outer layer of these cherries and then excretes the coffee beans. This adds wonderful flavor to the coffee. Now, this is going to knock your socks off -- Greenstar is selling Kopi at a huge discount, only $300 a lb. but only while supplies last. Isn't that something? Aren't you thrilled. Ez, why is it that I smell cat litter on your sweater?

IS Josh, tell me about the rumor I've heard that you are carrying Royal Sevruga Caviar.

Josh I'm so glad you brought that up, Ez. You sure that isn't cat litter I smell? As everyone knows, Royal Sevruga is the world's best caviar. You can't say fish eggs without saying Royal Seryuga. Try it.

IS You mean the caviar?

Josh Saying fish eggs....

IS Ok, now, if you had to choose among all the wonderful gift items in your inventory, what do you think every Greenstar member will want to put in their recycled paper shopping bag this holiday?

Josh No brainer, Ez. Fondo di Trebbiano Balsamic Vinegar. Without a doubt From Medieval times, balsamic vinegar from Modena, Italy is prepared in the ancient tradition. From the cooked must of the Trebbiano grapes blended with strong red wine vinegar, the vinegar is transferred through a succession of casks (oak, chestnut, cherry, ash, mulberry, and juniper, in this case) allowing for a rich flavor and reduced volume. 8 years, Ez, not a day sooner. The result is a brilliant dark brown vinegar with a distinct aroma and rich flavor. The consistency is dense; the product is spectacular served over any grilled meat or fish.

IS So, what would you expect to pay for a high quality balsamic vinegar like that, Josh?

Josh A mere $94.95 for an 8.5 oz bottle. What a steal! Look, Ez, I'm talking with my hands. Grazi, how do you say that? Like the godfather....

Comments invited at: ezrakidder@gmail.com - Peace, Ezra at 7:47 AM